Tuesday, November 11, 2014
Our "Feminist" Duty
As women, even if we do not consider ourselves feminists, it is our job to police "feminism," in order to prevent women from victimizing men.
Thursday, October 23, 2014
Feminism - Equality or Dogma?
For the last 4 years I have been defending a man who is accused of refusing to divorce a woman according to Jewish law. I have been supporting him because I think that it's a horrid crime to make such a false accusation against a man. We will call the couple W for woman and M for man, for purposes of simplifying this article. W has been libeling and slandering me for publicly supporting M. Among W's arsenal of "reasons" for my support, one of her irrational (sic) conclusions is that I must be defending M because I am sleeping with M. To support this irrationality, W has publicly accused M and myself of carrying on an affair and even parenting two children together. W has made these accusations in a letter to the Jerusalem rabbinate and in countless emails and Facebook posts. W's called for paternity tests for my children and insists that the fact that M and I refuse such "inexpensive" paternity tests is proof-pudding that we must be guilty as charged, why else would we refuse the tests W offered to pay for?
W claims to be a feminist. She has a PhD in social sciences and parades it out for everyone she meets. W champions women's causes and gay rights on her Facebook page. W insists women are capable of taking leadership roles and becoming social champions in our modern society. W is all about the "sisterhood" and women's rights and women uniting to fight injustice.
How is it then, that when faced with the challenge that I disagree with her, W stoops to the lowest trick in the book used to marginalize all women and dismiss our logical reasoning and thinking skills: W accused me of having an affair with M? And this accusation wasn't made after a series of arguments or debates. It was the default accusation W made against me 3 years ago, when she first found out I don't believe her version of the story, and W also flings it at other women who defend M, not just myself.
In fact, W has accused all the women in M's circle of friends and colleagues whom she knows, including M's book editor, of carrying on some sort of sexually inappropriate behavior with M, whether we support M or not. Several of us have been accused publicly, not just myself. Even women who know M through the internet and haven't seen M for years have been accused by W of having "sexual thoughts and feelings" about M when they tell her they disagree with her campaign to libel M and destroy his life.
How is it that a woman who publicly identifies herself as a feminist and lauds female judges, advocates, physicians and CEOs, can stoop to such a low level of personal disparagement of her opponents when faced with disagreement?
Feminism is defined in Merriam-Webster as
Please read that definition over a few times. I hope you are seeing some words missing from that definition, the same as I do. The term "political, economic and social equality of the sexes" is an interesting one. At face value, women should have the same political, economic and social opportunities as men. But on what basis? Just because? Because it's right, or because it's nice - or because WHY? Because women are capable, intelligent, and logical? Because we're pretty and know how to smile? Or because, damnit, if you don't give me equality, I'll burn your dinner and throw you out of bed and send you to sleep with the dog? What is the true basis for the equality "feminists" call for, for women? What is the standard for the equality we are seeking as human beings in multi-racial society? Should there be any? If there are no standards of rational, can there be true equality?
One of American feminism's expressed goals is "equal pay for equal work", the standard that if a woman is African American, Indian, and Jewish and works as the head anesthesiologist at a famous hospital, she should be paid according to the same standards as the Caucasian White Anglo Saxon man who is the chief anesthesiologist at the world famous hospital next door.
Given that all things are equal, I don't think any rational people in our society have a problem with this standard. Yet, things are as never equal as they seem. What if the woman went to Harvard Medical School and the man got his degree in the Bahamas? What if he's been working for 30 years and she for only 10? What if the woman has been sued for medical malpractice, but acquitted 20 times, and caused nurses to ask for transfers or quit their jobs because she bullied them? Nothing is ever as equal as it seems. It's apparent that "equality" does not have a simple equation whereby salaries are adjusted. because there is always a social, or rather, human factor involved.
Let's take a look at an interesting video.
As demonstrated in the above video, the general public usually assumes that if a woman is angry at a man, it's because he "had it coming to him", It doesn't even occur to 99% of the public that a woman can be an abuser. Enter the streams of feminists. There are men and women who believe in real equality for people of all genders (sic), religions, and nationalities and races. But there is a branch of feminism that is gaining popularity in our society, and the above video is a side-effect.
There is a class of feminists that Larry H. Taub has nicknamed Patriarchettes, whom he describes as women who channel feminism and use the system and society's biases in order to achieve their own goals inside patriarchal society, not really to help all women, or even most, but in a self-serving narcissistic fashion; but I disagree with Larry. I think Patriarchettes are a group of feminists who believe women should not only achieve equality, but supplant it against men - they want to turn society upside down, and in essence enslave men. They see it as a kind of divine justice. However, they're not seeking justice, truth or logic: their goal is revenge, to hurt men the way men have "hurt" women, and even with the same classes of dirty tricks and lies, machinations and manipulations.
That, in essence, is why W has completely disregarded me as an intelligent person; a woman fluent in two languages who has a degree in English Literature with a minor in Chemistry and premedical studies. W has completely ignored my ability to examine evidence, to read and understand language, and to draw an independent conclusion based on my own judgement; and because I don't agree with her, she has gone for the jugular and reduced herself to using the meanest, most primitive accusations men were once known to make against women when we disagreed with them. Most American men, having grown up in feminist society. would no longer even consider making such accusations anymore. In short, men have progressed, and accept women as equal thinkers and rationalists. So, when a woman who labels herself as a feminist comes along and accuses another woman of adultery, people say "it must be true," even if said affairs are completely manufactured children of the accuser's perverted imagination.
W may be a patriarchette, and she is demonstrating that she does not truly see women as equal to men on any traditional standard of equality that most of our social contracts abide by. W has demonstrated through her accusations that she doesn't regard women as really capable of examining arguments and making rational, logical judgments or conclusions. She's proved that by accusing not just myself, but at least 9 other women of sexual iniquities with M. She proposes that we are all just predisposed to believe M because we've been seduced.
If you think you're a feminist, you might want to pinch yourself and go back and check your standards of rationale. If I were in charge of writing social mores - much less the dictionary- my new definition of feminism would read something like this:
To conclude, the dogma that W is pushing is not that of feminism at all, but rather Narcissism - her own perceived interests, and she is capitalizing on societal sympathies toward women to do it.
{For the last four years I have been defending via social media a man who is accused of refusing a gett to his wife. For the uninitiated, a gett is a writ of Jewish divorce. I amnot a lawyer. See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Get_(divorce_document) for a thorough explanation.
The case is very sticky, and I don't want to get into the range of details of why I decided this man is NOT guilty of refusing his wife a divorce according to Jewish law. I will make a long story short by saying that I heard from both parties and have seen all the legal civil and religious documents in the case, both in English and in Hebrew, and I have even spoken with at least one of the rabbis involved in the matter legally, as well as consulted with people who deal with women who are refused divorces.
In summary, I took the man's side because it's my own conclusion and the conclusion of several legal experts that he hasn't refused a wife a gett.}
"Feminism." Merriam-Webster.com. Merriam-Webster, n.d. Web. 23 Oct. 2014. <http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/feminism>.
W claims to be a feminist. She has a PhD in social sciences and parades it out for everyone she meets. W champions women's causes and gay rights on her Facebook page. W insists women are capable of taking leadership roles and becoming social champions in our modern society. W is all about the "sisterhood" and women's rights and women uniting to fight injustice.
How is it then, that when faced with the challenge that I disagree with her, W stoops to the lowest trick in the book used to marginalize all women and dismiss our logical reasoning and thinking skills: W accused me of having an affair with M? And this accusation wasn't made after a series of arguments or debates. It was the default accusation W made against me 3 years ago, when she first found out I don't believe her version of the story, and W also flings it at other women who defend M, not just myself.
In fact, W has accused all the women in M's circle of friends and colleagues whom she knows, including M's book editor, of carrying on some sort of sexually inappropriate behavior with M, whether we support M or not. Several of us have been accused publicly, not just myself. Even women who know M through the internet and haven't seen M for years have been accused by W of having "sexual thoughts and feelings" about M when they tell her they disagree with her campaign to libel M and destroy his life.
How is it that a woman who publicly identifies herself as a feminist and lauds female judges, advocates, physicians and CEOs, can stoop to such a low level of personal disparagement of her opponents when faced with disagreement?
Feminism is defined in Merriam-Webster as
1
: the theory of the political, economic, and social equality of the sexes
2
: organized activity on behalf of women's rights and interests
Please read that definition over a few times. I hope you are seeing some words missing from that definition, the same as I do. The term "political, economic and social equality of the sexes" is an interesting one. At face value, women should have the same political, economic and social opportunities as men. But on what basis? Just because? Because it's right, or because it's nice - or because WHY? Because women are capable, intelligent, and logical? Because we're pretty and know how to smile? Or because, damnit, if you don't give me equality, I'll burn your dinner and throw you out of bed and send you to sleep with the dog? What is the true basis for the equality "feminists" call for, for women? What is the standard for the equality we are seeking as human beings in multi-racial society? Should there be any? If there are no standards of rational, can there be true equality?
One of American feminism's expressed goals is "equal pay for equal work", the standard that if a woman is African American, Indian, and Jewish and works as the head anesthesiologist at a famous hospital, she should be paid according to the same standards as the Caucasian White Anglo Saxon man who is the chief anesthesiologist at the world famous hospital next door.
Given that all things are equal, I don't think any rational people in our society have a problem with this standard. Yet, things are as never equal as they seem. What if the woman went to Harvard Medical School and the man got his degree in the Bahamas? What if he's been working for 30 years and she for only 10? What if the woman has been sued for medical malpractice, but acquitted 20 times, and caused nurses to ask for transfers or quit their jobs because she bullied them? Nothing is ever as equal as it seems. It's apparent that "equality" does not have a simple equation whereby salaries are adjusted. because there is always a social, or rather, human factor involved.
Let's take a look at an interesting video.
As demonstrated in the above video, the general public usually assumes that if a woman is angry at a man, it's because he "had it coming to him", It doesn't even occur to 99% of the public that a woman can be an abuser. Enter the streams of feminists. There are men and women who believe in real equality for people of all genders (sic), religions, and nationalities and races. But there is a branch of feminism that is gaining popularity in our society, and the above video is a side-effect.
There is a class of feminists that Larry H. Taub has nicknamed Patriarchettes, whom he describes as women who channel feminism and use the system and society's biases in order to achieve their own goals inside patriarchal society, not really to help all women, or even most, but in a self-serving narcissistic fashion; but I disagree with Larry. I think Patriarchettes are a group of feminists who believe women should not only achieve equality, but supplant it against men - they want to turn society upside down, and in essence enslave men. They see it as a kind of divine justice. However, they're not seeking justice, truth or logic: their goal is revenge, to hurt men the way men have "hurt" women, and even with the same classes of dirty tricks and lies, machinations and manipulations.
That, in essence, is why W has completely disregarded me as an intelligent person; a woman fluent in two languages who has a degree in English Literature with a minor in Chemistry and premedical studies. W has completely ignored my ability to examine evidence, to read and understand language, and to draw an independent conclusion based on my own judgement; and because I don't agree with her, she has gone for the jugular and reduced herself to using the meanest, most primitive accusations men were once known to make against women when we disagreed with them. Most American men, having grown up in feminist society. would no longer even consider making such accusations anymore. In short, men have progressed, and accept women as equal thinkers and rationalists. So, when a woman who labels herself as a feminist comes along and accuses another woman of adultery, people say "it must be true," even if said affairs are completely manufactured children of the accuser's perverted imagination.
W may be a patriarchette, and she is demonstrating that she does not truly see women as equal to men on any traditional standard of equality that most of our social contracts abide by. W has demonstrated through her accusations that she doesn't regard women as really capable of examining arguments and making rational, logical judgments or conclusions. She's proved that by accusing not just myself, but at least 9 other women of sexual iniquities with M. She proposes that we are all just predisposed to believe M because we've been seduced.
If you think you're a feminist, you might want to pinch yourself and go back and check your standards of rationale. If I were in charge of writing social mores - much less the dictionary- my new definition of feminism would read something like this:
feminism: the theory of the political, economic, and social equality of the sexes based on the premise of equal intelligence, logic and rational capability.
To paraphrase - not just equal pay for equal work, but equal status for equal capability, responsibility and culpability.
{For the last four years I have been defending via social media a man who is accused of refusing a gett to his wife. For the uninitiated, a gett is a writ of Jewish divorce. I amnot a lawyer. See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Get_(divorce_document) for a thorough explanation.
The case is very sticky, and I don't want to get into the range of details of why I decided this man is NOT guilty of refusing his wife a divorce according to Jewish law. I will make a long story short by saying that I heard from both parties and have seen all the legal civil and religious documents in the case, both in English and in Hebrew, and I have even spoken with at least one of the rabbis involved in the matter legally, as well as consulted with people who deal with women who are refused divorces.
In summary, I took the man's side because it's my own conclusion and the conclusion of several legal experts that he hasn't refused a wife a gett.}
"Feminism." Merriam-Webster.com. Merriam-Webster, n.d. Web. 23 Oct. 2014. <http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/feminism>.
Monday, October 20, 2014
The monologue - a script
IMG from: http://www.biblewalks.com/Sites/MountGerizim.html
When you hear the word
MONOLOGUE
What do you think of?
Your college history professor?
Your boring uncle Joe?
Mom and Dad lecturing about premarital sex? drugs? clean rooms? leaving the basement?
Or do you, like I, think of Shakespeare, Hillel, and Mount Gerezim? (Strange combination, I suppose, but it goes together...)
SHAKESPEARE's Hamlet
Hamlet's Soliloquy
To be or not to be... ... ...
That is the question
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles
And by opposing end them. To die, to sleep--
No more--and by a sleep to say we end
The heartache, and the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to. 'Tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wished. To die, to sleep--
To sleep--perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub,
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,
Must give us pause. There's the respect
That makes calamity of so long life.
To BE.
To BE.
Or NOT to BE
THAT is THE - italics - Question - Capital Q.
TO BE OR NOT TO BE:
Dvarim 30: 19-20
I call heaven and earth to witness against you this day, that I have set before thee life and death, the blessing and the curse; therefore choose life, that thou mayest live, thou and thy seed;
THAT IS THE QUESTION:
to love the LORD thy God, to hearken to His voice, and to cleave unto Him; for that is thy life, and the length of thy days; that thou mayest dwell in the land which the LORD swore unto thy fathers, to Abraham, to Isaac, and to Jacob, to give them
LIFE
What is Life?
Life is GOOD!!!
I call heaven and earth to witness against you this day, that I have set before thee life
(pause)
But how must one live properly?
How must I live properly?
SALEM
Self Awareness
Self Loving
AND
Endless Self Motivation
SALEM
Self Awareness - being mindful of one's needs, hungers, desires, fears, questions and responsibilities.
Love - self-care - bathing, dressing, eating, resting, playing, learning, laughing, loving ourselves
Endless Motivation - finding meaning, purpose and strength to overcome life's treacheries, life's difficulties, life's challenges
DEATH
I call heaven and earth to witness against you this day, that I have set before thee life and death, the blessing and the curse;
The curse.
Death.
Who is more dead than a corpse but the one who lives a life of self-denial, nihilism, self hatred and self immolation?
A life devoid of Salem.
I have lived it.
I made myself live it.
I have put the needs of others before my own, often against logic. Often without knowledge of logic, but because of the pure wish to seek approval...of other people.
I have been the victim of abuse.
But I got there because I ignored me. I often ignored all of me.
And then I wandered why others ignored all of me as well.
To be or Not to be, that is the Question:
Hillel the Elder:
אִם אֵין אֲנִי לִי, מִי לִי? וּכְשֶׁאֲנִי לְעַצְמִי, מָה אֲנִי? וְאִם לֹא עַכְשָׁיו, אֵימָתַי?
If I am not for myself, WHO will be for me?
And When I am only for myself, WHAT am I?
And if not now, when?
During the months of Elul and Tishrei we hear over and over again the saying:
Teshuvah
Tefilah
V'Tzedakah mavirin et ro hagazera.
Teshuvah Pennace (Return)
Tefilah Prayer
Tzedakah Charity will remove the bad of the decree.
A person can return to himself, to his source, to the creator of the universe through Teshuvah, which in Hebrew really does mean, literally, RETURN.
One can return to his friends and family and teachers, and love them. And to loving himself and respecting himself and others.
One can pray for others, and for oneself.
One can give charity to oneself and to others, Tzedakah, though is not just mere charity. It is Justice. It is the Justice that God himself ordered, that we love others and ourselves.
The difference between the narcissist and the man who loves people is God. God brings the social and the responsibility and love for ourselves and others into our lives.
The difference between the narcissist and the man who loves people is God. God brings the social and the responsibility and love for ourselves and others into our lives.
WHEN?
Today.
היום
I call heaven and earth to witness against you this day, that I have set before thee life and death, the blessing and the curse; therefore choose life, that thou mayest live, thou and thy seed;
to love the LORD thy God, to hearken to His voice, and to cleave unto Him; for that is thy life, and the length of thy days; that thou mayest dwell in the land which the LORD swore unto thy fathers, to Abraham, to Isaac, and to Jacob, to give them.
And here we are;
here, I stand in Jerusalem today before you.
Before God.
Jerusalem.
Yerushalayim
Yeru shalem
יראו שלם
ירו שלם
Yeru Salem
They will see Peace
They will see
Self Awareness
Self Love
Endless Motivation
כי מציון תצא תורה ודבר ה' מירושלים
The first time I came to Jerusalem I was 15 years old.
I had not even a skeleton of a Jewish education.
I did not know who I was. I did not know what a Jew is meant to be.
My dad is not Jewish. My mother was born Jewish.
I grew up in a secular household in Suburban Philadelphia.
My peers were little anti-semites who either beat me or tried to christen me from the age of 7.
When I was 13 I started asking my parents what Judaism was, what it meant to be Jewish. Because I had a computer and a modem I finally started meeting other Jewish teens through our mutual interest in computers.
I didn't understand, really, until then that Israel was even a real place where real people lived.
When I was 15, I pushed my mother to take me to meet rabbis and I chose a Reform Temple to attend confirmation class. There was an essay contest for the confirmation students, and I won that year. And I came to Israel when I was 15.
I wasn't prepared religiously or emotionally to cope with other Jewish teens in such close proximity. I had illogical expectations.
At the end of the summer, I considered taking my own life.
But I got over it, and I went back to my parent's house and I learned Hebrew. I taught myself how to read Hebrew, how to read from a prayer book, and I grew. And I grew.
I promised myself and my parents that when I turned 18 years old and became an adult that I would move to Israel.
And so I did. I came here like Avraham, to Jerusalem.
Jerusalem has been the city in which I have loved, and lost, and learned to love again, and again, and again.
To be or not to be, that is the question.
אִם אֵין אֲנִי לִי, מִי לִי? וּכְשֶׁאֲנִי לְעַצְמִי, מָה אֲנִי? וְאִם לֹא עַכְשָׁיו, אֵימָתַי?
If I am not for myself, WHO will be for me?
And When I am only for myself, WHAT am I?
And if not now, when?
I call heaven and earth to witness against you this day, that I have set before thee life and death, the blessing and the curse; therefore choose life, that thou mayest live, thou and thy seed;
to love the LORD thy God, to hearken to His voice, and to cleave unto Him; for that is thy life, and the length of thy days; that thou mayest dwell in the land which the LORD swore unto thy fathers, to Abraham, to Isaac, and to Jacob, to give them.
.
Monday, May 5, 2014
We are Not Hefker
Last week I sat disgusted and yet morbidly transfixed as I watched a video by Natalie Cohen Waxman of her "Holocaust" play, as she mocked the State of Israel and its Jewish citizens at the Holocaust Memorial, next to the memorial for the Warsaw Ghetto at Yad Vashem.
It is ironic that Natalie chose the Warsaw Ghetto Memorial for her tirade. If people recall history, the Warsaw Ghetto Uprising was the last gasp of dying breath from a community with a rich and vibrant Jewish history until the day the Nazis marched in and corralled them all into a slum. The Uprising, to this day, remains a "great" moment in the Jewish history of standing against tyrants, along with Masada.
While I agree with Natalie that the Holocaust should be dismissed, I do not at all hold that it is for the same reasons as the peon of the far-left camp.
It can be summed up in one sentence "Eleh she be kol dor v'dor omdim aleinu l'chaloteinu, ve hakadosh baruch hu matzelainu me yadam." In every generation, enemies rise to (utterly) destroy us and the Almighty saves us from their hands.
Our generation has begun showing a disconnect - we no longer understand the Holocaust as an important event when it is separated from the whole of Jewish history. And how could we? We, who have grown up in America in comfortable suburban middle class homes, and we who have grown up in luxurious Kfar Shmeryahu and been exempted from the army, and we who have grown up on lush kibbutzim in the middle of past wastelands now littered with flourishing orange orchards. We simply have no point of reference any longer to understand the Holocaust as a singular event. It has faded into our history and now lies next to the Inquisition for all posterity. That doesn't make it less horrible, horrid, or tragic. It just means our cultural references have changed. For us, the Holocaust has been replaced with the tragedy of Arab terror, and for us, Arab terror has become the new Jewish tragedy. And the real tragedy for us, is that our own government seems to be a bunch of kapos, cooperating with the terrorists.
I write these words knowing that many people will be angered and incensed by them, and I beg no pardon. Instead, I beg that the Prime Minister should ask the forgiveness of Sheli Dadon's father who has suffered the latest tragedy in our midst, as his daughter has been buried for less than a week.
As for Waxman's assertions that the IDF imitates the Nazis in its treatment of the Arabs, I say, were that true, we wouldn't have need to worry about random terrorist attacks and our teenage daughters being murdered and their bodies dumped into vacated parking lots. The Arabs of the PA and Israeli Arabs walk pretty much unchecked around our country, freely. They drive cars, attend work and schools and go shopping. There aren't any Jewish stores that have a policy sign hung outside the door dismissing Arab customers. Our public toilets are open for all. There is no apartheid here, only the division of natural social groups.
Were Waxman's accusations true, we would need to worry far less for our children when we send them out to school in the morning.That Waxman can even march into one of our country's most expensive and precious memorials and crack her crude, insensitive jokes and film it is a testimony to the fallacious contents of her accusations.
I would instead venture to argue an insane alternative, though one that looks entirely plausible for those of us prone to believe conspiracy theory.
The Government of Israel no longer believes in the Zionist dream, and after years of being called Nazis, it has thrown in the towel and is planning to spontaneously combust. Indeed, they have most likely chosen a date for the peace process to end, and end it will. Either when the fury of the ordinary citizen explodes in a treasonous rage and coup of the sitting goverment after we have become utterly fed up and terrified as a result of the multiple releases of filthy murderers back into our midst; or the Zionist Eden will come to an end the day the nations march onto our land and take over. But one of those days will come soon. There is a third alternative: another war of the Arab Nations against Israel, backed by the nuclear capability of Pakistan and Iran.
The bottom line, by choosing to fit in with the nations and offering ridiculous apologies to the likes of Erdogan, for sending our soldiers to be attacked by his citizens, our Prime Minister has declared himself a fool. By freeing the murderer of Avi Osher, the Prime Minister has declared himself a narcissist. By freeing terrorist after terrorist in deals for Peace that Never Comes, we have become the Nation of Chelm. In the eyes of our government, it seems, everyone of us is hefker, up for grabs; and should any of us die at the hands of a terrorist, our grave is sure to be spat upon in some future prisoner release.
Instead, we must choose to defend ourselves at all costs and no more allow the government the opportunity to mock the deaths of our relatives, neighbors and friends. It is time for a new system of government that truly represents the Jewish people: a government of innovation, integrity and intelligence; kindness, generosity and courage. The new government must not be established by means of violence, but by strict citizen vigilance to no longer allow crooks and thieves into public office. There are very few peaceful means of accomplishing a coup d'etat, but there are several ways: to starve the system that is working to enslave us:
Close bank accounts to Stop the power of Hotza' la Poal, the collection police
Use marijuana and other natural non-taxed medicines for ailments to Stop the power of Big Pharma
Plant community gardens and orchards, again to Stop the power of Big Pharma
Barter whenever possible to avoid paying taxes.
Ride bikes and walk whenever possible to avoid tracking on your Rav Kav card.
Buy solar panels and dig community wells, to fuel your home to stop paying for the existence of the Palestinian Authority.
It is time to go on strike.
Saturday, March 8, 2014
Saturday Night
Aye Aye Aye.
Writers are advised to sit and attempt a writing assignment every day, in order to keep ourselves sharp. Even in my actual creative writing courses in college, this was true. And it is true.
Lately I have been into seriously damaging the rules of grammar to stretch myself into understanding colloquialisms.. I grew up in a house in which bad grammar was sacrilege. I never used ain't and I was corrected from the local slang of saying "Crick" instead of creek. I, myself, was a language snob to some degree and I think I thought myself above others who used slang and spoke with the local Philly accent. This didn't do much to make me a friend of my peers. On the one hand, I was terrified of my neighbors, but on the other hand I secretly knew I was smarter than they because they spoke like ignoramuses and I didn't. Maybe in the future that will help explain why I suffered so much bullying in school, aside from the fact that I was intensely introverted.
Despite my ex father-in-law's suggestion to write about people, because an author can do so many things to his enemies in a book, legally, that he can't get away with in real life, I never seriously considered it until now.
Writers are advised to sit and attempt a writing assignment every day, in order to keep ourselves sharp. Even in my actual creative writing courses in college, this was true. And it is true.
Lately I have been into seriously damaging the rules of grammar to stretch myself into understanding colloquialisms.. I grew up in a house in which bad grammar was sacrilege. I never used ain't and I was corrected from the local slang of saying "Crick" instead of creek. I, myself, was a language snob to some degree and I think I thought myself above others who used slang and spoke with the local Philly accent. This didn't do much to make me a friend of my peers. On the one hand, I was terrified of my neighbors, but on the other hand I secretly knew I was smarter than they because they spoke like ignoramuses and I didn't. Maybe in the future that will help explain why I suffered so much bullying in school, aside from the fact that I was intensely introverted.
Despite my ex father-in-law's suggestion to write about people, because an author can do so many things to his enemies in a book, legally, that he can't get away with in real life, I never seriously considered it until now.
Thursday, March 6, 2014
The Writing Problem
Lately, I haven't been writing often enough.
And, when I say "Lately," what I really mean is I haven't been writing enough for the last eight years...an understatement.
There are so many things I have done in those eight years, and yet even that was not enough to really satisfy myself with my life. I don't have a real feeling of contentment from that time. I feel that I need to do more in the next eight years to make up for what I haven't done in the last eight years.
Except, the truth is I am putting a dollar sign value on accomplishments that can't be measured from the last eight years. For instance, I "just" recovered from PTSD in the last eight years. Not completely, I don't feel totally whole. And, if I were really completely recovered I'd have a job, right? I wouldn't still be slightly agoraphobic and terrified of working outside my home. But, overall, recovering from PTSD without help of medicinal marijuana or a professional psychologist is a pretty big accomplishment. And, even though I am still unable to pay all my bills, at least I don't go lie in bed and cry hysterically for a week when one shows up in the mailbox. I still don't open them. That takes a few glasses of wine, bill opening; and I am very careful about how much I drink because I can see that I would have to become an alcoholic to be a real regular bill opener. So, I guess I am just a bill peeker and a wine sipper.
Other accomplishments in the last eight years? I have two new daughters. Two new, beautiful daughters who make every day worth living and waking up for just to take care of them. Truthfully, just taking care of them and doing nothing else but makes life worth living and makes me content.
I guess that's it for now, since the baby wants to nurse and I can't write and nurse simultaneously.
And, when I say "Lately," what I really mean is I haven't been writing enough for the last eight years...an understatement.
There are so many things I have done in those eight years, and yet even that was not enough to really satisfy myself with my life. I don't have a real feeling of contentment from that time. I feel that I need to do more in the next eight years to make up for what I haven't done in the last eight years.
Except, the truth is I am putting a dollar sign value on accomplishments that can't be measured from the last eight years. For instance, I "just" recovered from PTSD in the last eight years. Not completely, I don't feel totally whole. And, if I were really completely recovered I'd have a job, right? I wouldn't still be slightly agoraphobic and terrified of working outside my home. But, overall, recovering from PTSD without help of medicinal marijuana or a professional psychologist is a pretty big accomplishment. And, even though I am still unable to pay all my bills, at least I don't go lie in bed and cry hysterically for a week when one shows up in the mailbox. I still don't open them. That takes a few glasses of wine, bill opening; and I am very careful about how much I drink because I can see that I would have to become an alcoholic to be a real regular bill opener. So, I guess I am just a bill peeker and a wine sipper.
Other accomplishments in the last eight years? I have two new daughters. Two new, beautiful daughters who make every day worth living and waking up for just to take care of them. Truthfully, just taking care of them and doing nothing else but makes life worth living and makes me content.
I guess that's it for now, since the baby wants to nurse and I can't write and nurse simultaneously.
Monday, August 19, 2013
Women Against The Wall, Written Summer 2013
Women Against the Wall
I find it extremely ironic that a group of women run by Reform Jews, funded by NIF (the New Israel Fund), and promoting hatred toward Orthodox women is called “Women of the Wall”.
For decades, while Jews were denied access to the Western Wall, the one unifying factor among the Jews of Jerusalem was that they all, secular and religious, yearned to see the return of the Kotel to Jewish hands. In fact, the biggest a honor a Jew could have during the Mandate was to be the official (arrested) Shofar blower after Yom Kippur. The man was afforded much accolade by the other Jewish prisoners when he got to the Russian compound.
My brief “ love affair” with the Reform movement lasted from my sophomore year in high school until I was 19 years old...roughly 4 years. Because my parents were intermarried, my mother Jewish and my father a former Presbyterian, I grew up mostly without any real religious background. We celebrated the major holidays of both religions, and that was that. We never went to church or synagogue for any of these, just to family and friends. I grew up with watered-down celebrations of Chanukah, Christmas, Passover and Easter. As I grew up in a small suburb outside of Philadelphia without any other Jewish children to play with, I was often the recipient of anti-Semitic jibes from schoolmates, as well as actual violence. Then, there were those who would pretend to be friendly in order to try to convert me to Christianity.
When I got to 10th grade I decided that I wanted to know more about Judaism, and started going to confirmation class at a Reform synagogue about a 30 minute drive from our home. As I got older and more involved in my youth group and later won a scholarship contest for a trip to Israel, I yearned for a more traditional view of Judaism. My opportunity came when I was about to start my freshman year in college at a small, popular liberal arts college that dropped its Hebrew minor. I decided then and there that I wanted to be in Israel, and I came back to attend the 4 year program at Hebrew University, with intense Hebrew study.
During my time at the Hebrew University I was exposed to a myriad of Jewish lifestyles, from the very traditional families who often hosted Hebrew University students for Shabbat meals, to the staunchly secular who bought and stocked pita in their freezer for Pesach. (It’s illegal for Jewish businesses to sell bread to Jews on Passover.) Then, I was hit with one of the most difficult periods of my life, when I decided I wanted to become a new immigrant to Israel and had to fight it out with the Rabbinate to get papers certifying I was Jewish.
For me, this became a period of deep emotional pain. My mother had always told me growing up that I was Jewish because she is; now someone was telling me I wasn’t because my father isn’t. I had always been told that Judaism is passed through our mother. So, I didn’t see what relevance my father’s history had on my identity, other than pure discrimination. Ironically, while I was fighting to get my Jewish ID papers in 1990, thousands of Russian immigrants were being granted citizenship based on patrilineal Jewish descent. So, frankly, I really resented the Ministry of the Interior.
The Reform movement, of course, couldn’t do a thing to help me with this fight, since they for the most part were the cause of the fight. Finally, just before Purim, I managed to get a paper from the Rabbinate certifying I was Jewish, and a couple months later I also received letters from the Orthodox rabbis of relatives.
Back to my experiences with Reform Judaism: In 1989 I came to Israel with NFTY and participated in the Inside Israel program, a four month long program that included living with Israeli families in Jerusalem, studying at Hebrew Union College, and then a period of volunteer work on Kibbutz.
During our studies at HUC I was exposed to Women of the Wall, who made their debut at the Kotel to the sound of cracking chairs and the sting of tear gas. It was literally a melee. I attended a meeting about the group at which women argued for and against the group, and I attended a Rosh Chodesh event later that summer, that was less fraught with violence but still scary.
Then, during the course of my year at Hebrew University I had more and more exposure to traditional Judaism, which struck a strong inner cord in me, and drew me in. I remember Reform leaders quipping some line about my being brainwashed, which I always found funny since if anyone brainwashed me, it had been the Reform movement; and, my move to more traditional Judaism actually set me free. It set me free to discover what being Jewish and living in Israel is really about. For me, being Jewish and living in Israel became inseparable from the Torah.
Several factors together caused me to flee from the Reform Movement. For one, as a member of the Reform movement, one is always fighting with the authorities – fighting for Arab rights in spite of Jewish rights, fighting for women’s rights in spite of men, fighting, fighting. No being calm and just enjoying life.
Another factor was that the Reform Movement denies Jewish rights to most of our ancestral home land, including Hebron and the Temple Mount. This was a large factor for me, since as a participant in a NFTY program I had been denied a trip to Gush Etzion to meet Yuli Kasharovsky and his family when they made Aliyah in March 1989. While I was in high school, I campaigned hard for their release, writing letters and petitions, and to be denied an opportunity to meet them because of where they lived, no less by a group of people who call themselves “open-minded,” deeply disappointed me.
Finally, I also could not cope with the Reform Jewish refrain that our people is no more special than anyone else and Judaism is no more special than any other religion. In Reform Jewish Liturgy, the Aleynu prayer is changed, leaving out the part spurning idol worship. As a friend pointed out at HUC when we had a class on this matter, that it made no sense to do this, as there’s no reason to choose a philosophy or religion that denies it is more unique or special than another. It’s simply illogical. Over the years I have come to realize that this alone is probably the major factor in the millions of American Jews who turn their backs on Judaism. Their own movement tells them to do so, because it’s no more special than any other religion. With that I agree: Reform Judaism is not special at all.
Every month, on Rosh Chodesh, I am faced with the Kotel dilemma, forced to choose sides, and reminded of the mantra a close male friend of mine brought up when I was 17 and considering attending Stern College. He said “Separate but equal is not always equal”. Yes, I agree. But, also, women and men are very much unequal: our differences are biological, physiological, psychological and educational. We are very much unequal, and no amount of argument, rhetoric or other mental exercises is going to change this fact.
WOW leaders love to make Orthodox women appear as if we stepped out of the stone-age into modernity. This couldn’t be further from the truth. Yes, true, when I left the Reform movement I started shaving my legs and armpits again. But, also, I realized a new aspect of Feminism which is typically European feminism and focuses on the family unit and its needs to cope in society, as opposed to American feminism whose illness derives from focusing solely on the woman and her war against society. Anyone familiar with serious feminist literature knows that feminism is actually a branch of communism. Popular feminist writers such as Shulamit Firestone propose confiscating children from their parents to raise them in communes.
For the most part, Israeli Feminism was very much of the European brand until groups like NIF and the Reform movement started pouring billions of dollars of influence into Israeli female minds, to the detriment of us all. This new age of Israeli feminism has not only brought warfare to the Kotel, but has also been accompanied by a much more detrimental and horrendous side-effect. Israel is now number one in the world for removing children from their homes; from their loving, dedicated, and sometimes foiling parents, to the desolation of foster-care, group homes, and psychiatric facilities.
Instead of supporting single mothers, however, the Israeli feminists rob us of dignity and honor, and motherhood. Whenever a single mother is attacked, there’s no bleeding-heart Israeli feminist around to help her with the legal battle, or stage protests or call press conferences. Feminist organizations ignore the single mothers’ plight.
So, every month when the new calls come out to join a group at the Wall, the Kotel Maaravi, my chest heaves, and tears flow from my eyes. WOW does not understand that aside from public desecration of peace and unity among Jews, they represent everything that is wrong with feminism in Israel: the removal of women from the home to the workplace, the removal of children from their loving homes to the homes of abusive and negligent strangers, and the ultimate true rape of women: closed courts and committees ignoring the rule of law and stripping mothers of our G-d given rights to raise our own children in dignity.
One might question my logic of comparing women donning tefillin and tallit at the Kotel to the extremism of the social welfare network, but they are connected. Their funders, the New Israel Fund, support both the media efforts of Women of the Wall, and foster homes. (They also give cameras to Arabs to film “evil” settlers in Hebron.)
So, WOW, is your fight really to protect Jewish women, or is it to make us like men: barren, ignorant of our bosoms, working 9 to 5, and ignoring our God given talents in order to pretend to be something else, separate, and less than what we really are, but with "wonderful" and full, “equal” prayer rights in the synagogue; because the illusion of equality is all that matters, right?
And how, I ask, for heaven’s sake, have Jewish women -the descendants of Sarah and Chanah, who cried and prayed for children - been deluded enough to see such a petty fight blown out of all rational proportion, as a good thing?
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